How to Overcome Old Hurts of the Past and Transform Your Life


So many people hang onto the hurts of the past. Did someone say unkind things to you when you were twelve? Did your boyfriend or girlfriend break up with you in an unloving way? Did your parents treat you in a less-than-kind manner? Did an employer let you go without explanation? Are you holding onto these experiences, and do you feel it might be time to transform them so you can be free to live your life without resentment and hurt?

Why Do People Keep these Thoughts Going Inside?

Some people feel they need to keep these old hurts going. They replay them in their minds time and time again. Maybe they feel that if they keep the hurting thoughts going they’ll protect themselves from having to go through the situation again. Quite the opposite is true, as you will see when you read on. Other people keep the hurts going in their minds because they’re hooked on these kinds of thoughts – that so and so “did it to me” and “I can’t forget and I can’t forgive.” Some people just don’t have any idea that they can change. They’ve built neural pathways in their brain that play the old hurt over and over again. Yet, when the time is right and the desire for change is there, the doors to transformation can begin to open.

The Problem with Replaying These Thoughts Over and Over

The main problem is that thoughts are electromagnetic, which means that they’re both electrical and magnetic. So when something is a magnet, it draws to it something of like nature. When the negative thoughts keep going on, you then draw similar situations in so it seems like “There it goes again!” The same situation is back in your life. It goes on until you heal it and begin to attract new kinds of experiences. So what are the remedies?

I Am Not the Victim of the World I See

That’s a line from the book A Course in Miracles. You may feel like a victim, but you aren’t. If you look at each situation in you life as an opportunity rather than a horrible experience, then you pull yourself out of victimhood. You might also find seeds of inner power in many of the experiences of your life. Was there something in your experience that you needed to move you forward in life? Even if it was painful, did you need it to pierce you open so that you could grow into a deeper kind of person? Was there some hidden gift in your experience that came to light at one time or another? Did you need freedom to move forward when that person left you? Did that illness show you how you can have compassion for all others? What was the advantage in the experience you endured?

I Have Always Had That Problem

Instead of telling yourself that it’s always been this way for you and always will be, phrase it another way. Say, “Up until now, it’s been rough, hard, a struggle, but that’s just up until now. Now I have the opportunity to shift my thoughts and my mind and move in a forward direction.” There’s always an opportunity to move forward. What you’ve endured may have been very painful, but you don’t have to perpetuate that pain. There is a way out.


Ho’Oponopono is a way of looking at life that has emerged from Hawaiian shamans. One of its tenets is to take personal responsibility for everything. If it’s showing up in your life, there’s something here for you to grow from. A powerful practice of Ho’Oponopono is to say the following words throughout your days and nights:

“Thank you, I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me.”

It means that whatever has taken place, I am giving thanks in my life, I am filling myself with love, I’m sorry I’ve misperceived things, and I ask forgiveness. I ask to forgive both myself and others.

Moving Forward

When you let go of the old hurts, the slights, the grudges, the pain – you can then move forward to the next level of your life. You don’t need to hold yourself back any longer. Move on, and you can find yourself in a new and powerful place, and you can truly transform your life.

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